


Discussions

by Diaphenia



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Discussions of sex, Established Relationship, F/M, involving of-age teens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 18:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1952337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diaphenia/pseuds/Diaphenia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You told me your cousins were out of town, and I should come over, and to bring the iPod. I didn’t think you were inviting me over for tea and crackers.” They both paused, looking on the table, where there were in fact mugs of tea and sleeves of crackers. “Well, I thought they were a pretense.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discussions

**Author's Note:**

> The inaugural (but not last) fic for Nothing Much to Do, which, if you accidentally wandered on here hoping this was _The Mindy Project_ fic, is a New Zealand web series based on Much Ado About Nothing. Catch up [here](http://thecandlewasters.tumblr.com/story). If you're already a fan, prompt something for me [here](http://diaphenia.tumblr.com/ask).
> 
> Set after the events of the web series, which I presume will end around graduation, making both character of-age during this discussion. 
> 
> With much love to Blithers, who is at fault for both turning me on to the series and then for betaing this.

Sex. S-E-X. Sexual intercourse. Nothing to be nervous about, right?

It wasn’t like Ben was a virgin. Well, he was a virgin, _technically_ , but he wasn’t some blushing idiot who didn’t know what he was doing. He’d been watching porn since he was old enough to know what was what. He knew all the basics, all the things you were supposed to do.

Plus, this was _Beatrice_. His _girlfriend_. His friend that was a girl, but so much more, too. And she was nervous, he was pretty sure. He knew she was like him, not really experienced, so that made it easier.

Or harder. _More difficult_. Much higher chance of accidental injury. He knew a cousin’s friend’s sister’s friend had done the deed and internally hemorrhaged afterwards from _incorrect thrusting_. He wondered if that was common. He’d better google that too.

“You keep making that face,” Beatrice said. “It makes you look more ridiculous than usual.”

Brave of her, to keep up the usual banter despite the sheer terror she was probably feeling.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” he blurted out.

“Yes, I understand that I am my own... wait, wait! Is _that_ what you thought I’d invited you over for?”

“Yes. No? Yes. You told me your cousins were out of town, and I should come over, and to bring the iPod. I didn’t think you were inviting me over for tea and crackers.” They both paused, looking on the table, where there were in fact mugs of tea and sleeves of crackers. “Well, I thought they were a pretense.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Because I’d need to trick you into coming over?”

“Of course not. I’d do anything you asked me to,” he said. Not murder or anything, but most everything else.

Her face melted a little. “That’s sweet.” She grabbed his iPod. “Is this what you do in your spare time? _Songs For a Sexy Evening_? That’s your brilliant playlist title?”

“It beat out _Songs To Do It To_ by a millimeter.”

“It beat nothing. If we’re going to do this, it’s gotta be to a bunch of love songs, but not lame love songs, you know, romantic songs but songs with some bite to them, yeah.”

 _Love_ songs? She wanted _love_ songs? Well, that meant something. They hadn’t exactly used that word, but this was a sign she— and then he realized the other important thing she was saying. “Wait, so does that mean sex is on the table?”

Bea bit her lip for what had to be the longest moment in the history of ever. “On the bed, maybe,” she said slowly, eyes still on the iPod.

“Holy shit,” he said.

She looked straight at him, then, just a little defensive. “We’ve been dating a while now, and we’ve known each other forever, and... we could talk about it.”

They sat down at the table, and Ben really did think better with tea. No wonder the sun never set on the British Empire, what with all the tea they drank.

Bea kept her hands on her mug like it was giving her strength. “Ok, so. First thing. Nothing weird. No... I don’t even know what ideas you have in your head about this.”

He’d had a lot of ideas in the months since he’d realized he had honest-to-god feelings for her, but this was  _Bea_. He was perfectly willing to forgo all that nonsense for the standard stuff, because this was about her. “Same goes for you. I’m not dressing up like a nurse or engaging in a little exhibitionism or pulling out a paddle just because you read too many romance novels.”

She blushed and shook her head, and he wondered if he’d inadvertently stumbled on to something. “Number two. No internet. No vlogging or cameras or tweeting—”

“I don’t have a twitter.”

“Or telling all your buddies like I’m some sort of conquest.” She glared.

“Never.” He was certain on that. “And we’re done with the vlogs anyway.”

“Yes, but old habits die hard, they say.”

“Think about the subscribers we’d get through,” he said with a sly grin.

She laughed. “We’d get kicked off YouTube, you perv.”

“What else?”

“Condoms.”

“Right. I have them in my duffel.” He wasn’t sure how many they’d need, so he’d bought a gross. He’d been practicing with them because he’d seen one too many teen sex comedies, and didn’t want to be one of those jackasses who couldn’t keep it up with a rubber on. “Are you taking anything?”

“I’ve been on birth control since I was fourteen. Cramps, you know.”

“Christ.”

“Being a woman is _fun_. Cramps, lower salaries, slut-shaming..."

"Terribly unfair. I want you to know I support woman-kind in all their endeavors." 

"Right. Anyway. The absolute, final rule is— Unless you have something to add?”

“The condoms are non-negotiable. Can you imagine _us_ with a _baby_?”

“Let’s not even— that’s so— why would you bring that up?”

“If we’re going to do this, we can talk about the terrifying possibilities. Our kid would be cute, but quickly misplaced.”

“Moving on.” She grabbed his hand. “If you’re going to _explode my universe_ —”

“I can’t believe you remember that.” He remembered the weird way they used to flirt without officially flirting, back in the day. So much wasted time.

“I remember everything. And I have video evidence, even without my awesome powers of memory. Anyway, if you really think you’re going to rock my world or whatever, we’re going to have to go slow. I’m... new at this.”

“I knew it!” Not that it mattered, but. He liked that they were approaching this together.  

“Oh, like you aren’t too.”

“Definitely. So I agree. Sloooow and steady wins the race.”

“You’re such a cheeseball.” She shook off his hand. “But I’m glad you’re you.”

“You’re too kind,” he said, going round the table to give her a kiss.

“And who would’ve ever thought we’d say all this mushy stuff to each other? We’re getting positively disgusting.” She laughed, and he did too. “Ben, I solemnly promise that, when this happens, I will spend every moment throwing insults at you.”

He grinned. “It’s like you think that’s a turn-off."

**Author's Note:**

> [babyharvelle](http://babyharvelle.tumblr.com) created a fan mix for this fic [here](http://babyharvelle.tumblr.com/post/95393228938/ill-explode-your-universe) or listen on [8tracks](http://8tracks.com/babyharvelle/i-ll-explode-your-universe) for her take on "songs with some bite to them".
> 
> (literally the most flattering thing that's ever happened to me I cannot)


End file.
